i need a friend who is willing to take care of me, listen to me, play with me, study with me, argue with me and laugh with me. but i dont wanna be too reliant on them, cos' i'm really afraid i'll grow to be reliant on them. i'm thankful too, that some of them has really shown their concern for me, but i chose to chase them away. i am so emotional, crying when there's no one ard, and pretending to be really happy when people are ard me. the feelings just arent great. sorry, really sorry (you shld know who you are if you're readg) Earlier today, i lost control and cried til my eyes are swollen. my mom was shocked and aint sure what to do and she thought that was becos of studies. and i hope i knew whats up with me so that i can get a lil better. i thought i was well again, like before, carefree and insane, but i realised i am still feeling really empty and tired. typing this, my tears roll down my cheeks. i thought i'll be alright, i thought i'm brave. i thought i'm fine. but thats not true at all. i'm even more emotional now.